hello, stranger.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
x
have you ever... felt this empty?have you ever... felt this lonely?
have you ever... felt this urge to jump off the roof?
have you ever... felt the weight of the whole world on you alone, just you?
have you ever... felt like removing your heart cause it hurts so badly?
have you ever... felt like there's no one in this world understand you, at all?
have you ever... felt like disappearing?
have you ever... felt like giving the 1% of your happiness to your loved ones, though it's just so little, it's insignificant?
have you ever... felt like no one pays attention to you?
have you ever... felt like someone's pushing you towards the mountain cliff?
have you ever... felt not of use to the others?
have you ever... felt like you know everything that's happening, but no one knows what's happening to you?
have you ever... felt like choking yourself?
have you ever... felt like abusing yourself?
have you ever... felt like being loved?
have you ever... felt like the world has abandoned you?
have you ever... felt like you're forgotten?
have you ever... felt dejected?
have you ever... felt... like me?
wtf is this. fml already.
xx
Friday, March 19, 2010
to forget about you; xx
我的悲傷 失去你的地方
你的發香 散的匆忙
我已經跟不上
閉上眼睛 還能看見
你離去的痕跡
在月光下 一直找尋
那想念的身影
如果說分手
是苦痛的起點
那在終點之前
我願意再愛一遍
想要對你說的
不敢說的愛 會不會有人
可以明白
我會發著呆
然後忘記你 接著緊緊閉上眼
想著哪一天
會有人代替 讓我不再想念你
我會發著呆
然後微微笑 接著緊緊閉上眼
又想了一遍
你溫柔的臉 在我忘記之前
閉上眼睛 還能看見
你離去的痕跡
在月光下 一直找尋
那想念的身影
如果說分手
是苦痛的起點
那在終點之前
我願意再愛一遍
想要對你說的
不敢說的愛 會不會有人
可以明白
我會發著呆
然後忘記你 接著緊緊閉上眼
想著哪一天
會有人代替 讓我不再想念你
我會發著呆
然後忘記你 接著緊緊閉上眼
想著哪一天
會有人代替 讓我不再想念你
我會發著呆
然後微微笑 接著緊緊閉上眼
又想了一遍
你溫柔的臉 在我忘記之前
心裏的眼淚
模糊了視線 你已快看不見
it wasn't as easy as i thought, i know that it's gonna take me ages to forget you. in the meantime, i will treasure the memories we shared. the memories which lasted for about a year and a half. i want to forget you, but i can't. i couldn't sleep well at all for the past few days, since we broke up. gahh, i miss you a hell lot right now. i need you. but it's over, yes, i know it, but i just keep forgetting to forget about you... i love you...
Monday, January 11, 2010
untitled;
how would you feel, if you were being misunderstood by someone? what if that someone is so special to you? what if that someone is your dearest mother? how would you feel? i have been homesick for the first time when i'm over here in the uk. it's funny though, how i'm homesick now. not the last time. i miss my family so much that i've been crying a lot for these few days. hence, the thought of flying back home to celebrate cny popped out of my mind. i hated cny last year, as i celebrated it all alone. well, my second sister did celebrate cny with me for say, one or two days? i can't recall. but the thing is, i was all alone in the super scary basement with a depressed hostess. imagine how cny was for me. i don't want to celebrate cny all alone without my family anymore. i told my mum that i want to fly back for 8 to 9 days just to celebrate cny, and she said no. we were on the phone again just now, and she scolded me, asking why i want to go back to malaysia? is it cause i want to see tvk. well, admittedly, tvk plays an important role in my life. but this time, the whole purpose for me going home during cny is to celebrate cny in my hometown, jementah with my family as well as relatives. but my mum doesn't understand it. she told me, well, if you want to come back, you have to go back to jementah in a tone which implies that i wouldn't like it or whatsoever. but that's the whole point of going back, to celebrate cny with so many relatives everywhere. unlike cold lonely uk. imma stop over here. can't take it anymore. fuck my life. kay bye.Monday, October 05, 2009
or am i here all alone?
Feels like i spent all this time talking to wallsFeels like i gotta let go of the way it was before
Are your really there? Are you made of stone?
Am i talking to someone or am i here all alone?
Are you alive, don't you feel, feel, feel?
Show me you're here, show me your tears
Don't your feel, feel, feel, feel?
Show me, hold me, speak up and tell me something
Change my mind before it's too late
Are you alive, show me you're human
Can't you feel, feel, feel, feel?
Seems like you're stuck in a daze, slipping away, away
I'm sick of trying to reach you, can't you say what's on your mind
Baby we're losing the race to far behind, behind
Tell me that i'm not the only one who can try, who can fight the wall
Are you alive, don't you feel, feel, feel?
Show me you're here, show me your tears
Don't your feel, feel, feel, feel?
Show me, hold me, speak up and tell me something
Change my mind before it's too late
Are you alive? Show me you're human
Can't you feel, feel, feel, feel?
Sometimes the words they don't get through
What really speaks is what you do
Open up, let me inside, just wanna find you
Are you alive, are you, are you?
Show me you're here, show me your tears
Don't you feel, feel, feel, feel?
Show me, hold me, speak up and tell me something
Change my mind before it's too late
Are you alive, show me you're human
Can't you feel, feel, feel, feel?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
abandoned;
my boyfriend - tan voon kent, hasn't been contacting me, e.g. texting/calling/facebooking/msn-ing, for the past 3 or 4 days, i lost count, great, just great. as i can recall, we used to be like so close and all although we are 13 hours flight apart. but now, we're further apart, we're like, 20 hours flight apart from each other. he doesn't care anymore. but what's the reason behind this? i really do not know. i am so confused with my life right now, i can't be bothered anymore. i refuse to think about it, refuse to cry over it. i know i can go through this phase and lead a better life in the future, i know i can. and i will.xx
Sunday, September 13, 2009
我不想再为你掉泪...
bebe ah, i know that you're up in genting right now, having loads of fun with your classmates, and that's the reason why i'm not texting you about how i feel, instead, i am facebook-ing you. i am not sure if you feel the same way as i do, but i know that i need to tell you. i don't know what's happening between us, i really don't know. if you know what's wrong, please, please tell me. i am so confused, i can't think properly at all. i spent these few days thinking why aren't we talking like how we used to, although we just got back together. i feel as if i'm gonna give up and let go of our relationship, but i don't want the same thing to happen all over again. i really want to hold onto the relationship this time, but it seems like i have no more strength, no more energy, i really have no more strength, bebe... what's happening? tell me, please, bebe... it feels like you don't care anymore... it feels like you don't love or like me anymore... if this is really how you feel, then please, please, i beg you, just tell me, don't leave me hanging here without directions... i really don't know how to feel right now... to love you more or to stop loving you? to hold on tight or to let go?这情节 重复了一百遍,
历史不断重演 我好累,
我不想再为你掉泪...
it's either a yes or no, give me an answer please... i finally know how you felt before i left, i am sorry, bebe... but, do me a favour, please? just one word from you, yes or no. don't let me be stuck in this difficult situation. i feel as if i have a boyfriend, but i can't talk to him, a total stranger to me. i can't talk or cry or laugh with you, but why? i really don't understand... if your answer is no, you want to break up, i will respect your decision. if your answer is a yes, you want to continue, we have to try harder and make this relationship work, and not make each other cry anymore...
please, give me the strength to breathe...
Dear Voon Kent,
I do not know what's going on right now. I honestly thought that i didn't like you anymore, but just yesterday, i found out, i found out that I still love you, a lot. I still love you so much that i hate the fact that i love you. I hate that you do not care as much anymore. I hate it that you care more about your friends. I hate the fact that our relationship isn't how it used to be. Can you please end the relationship for me if you do not care anymore, and don't leave me hanging here, don't know what I should do, don't know where my directions are... Don't know what's the purpose of hanging onto a relationship that doesn't seem to be working at all...
I do not know what's going on right now. I honestly thought that i didn't like you anymore, but just yesterday, i found out, i found out that I still love you, a lot. I still love you so much that i hate the fact that i love you. I hate that you do not care as much anymore. I hate it that you care more about your friends. I hate the fact that our relationship isn't how it used to be. Can you please end the relationship for me if you do not care anymore, and don't leave me hanging here, don't know what I should do, don't know where my directions are... Don't know what's the purpose of hanging onto a relationship that doesn't seem to be working at all...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
geuroke gajimayo.
it's 3.30am now, and i can't seem to sleep. it's not the first time, this has been going on for a whole week now. i ask myself why, what's the reason behind all this, but, honestly, i couldn't answer it. is it you. well, maybe. maybe i am reluctant to move on, to build a wall. it used to be so easy just to build a wall, but this time, this time, i fell too hard. i used to think, by building a wall, by cutting you off, by deleting everything that has to do with you will make it easier for me to forget. but, now, i think i am suffering from it instead. the fact that i can't see what you're up to through facebook or msn or whatsoever is killing me. call me whatever you want, a stalker perhaps, or an obsessive ex-girlfriend. i do not care. what is wrong with me, seriously. it's time to move on, no? you, obviously, have moved on without me, leaving me in the past. but, who is to blame? fingers point back at me. i was the one who created all these drama, i was the one who didn't let you butt in on our relationship. i was the one who didn't want you anymore. i was the one who knew that i'd regret for my actions but still insist on doing it for no apparent reason. i was the one who's selfish. i was the one who couldn't think straight, and still can't. i now want you back so badly, but i know that it's impossible. not that it's impossible, but, if i was given a chance to turn back time, i will do the same thing. i mean, i still love you and all, but, somewhere in my heart, somewhere in my brain, something's telling me that it's not gonna work out in the end anyway, so why be so stubborn trying to hold onto a relationship that you know isn't gonna last forever? might as well just give each other some space, some time, lots of time in fact, to breathe, to think. to me, right now, i know it takes time for it to mend this broken heart, but everything's gonna turn out alright. if fate dictates, we shall meet again. time will tell, that's all i can say. who knows, you might find someone out there who loves you more than i do? good luck. xximma go sleep now, night night. :)
ps. maybe it's my period that's making me emo, or maybe it's songs like please don't go and last gift by shinee making me emo? :)
xoxo
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
어젯밤 꿈속에 네가 내게 다가와
속삭인 그 말이 내 얼굴 만지던 그 머릿결이
꿈에서 깨보니 너무나도 선명한데
네가 있는 게 꿈이었단 걸 내 눈가에 고여진 눈물이 말해줬어
안돼요 안돼요 그렇게 가지마요
제발 한 번만 한 번만 날 다시 안아줘요
다시 눈감아 널 보러 가면 그 자리에 멈춘 나를 안아줘요
눈을 떠 보아도 네 모습만 선명한데
네가 있는게 꿈이었단 걸 내 눈물에 비춰진 슬픔이 말해줬어
안돼요 안돼요 그렇게 가지마요
제발 한번 만 한번 만 날 다시 안아줘요
다시 눈감아 널 보게 되면 그 자리에 멈춘 나를 안아줘요
애를 써 애를 써도 떼를 써 떼를 써 다시 돌아와
안돼요 안돼요 그렇게 가지마요
제발 한 번만 한 번만 날 다시 안아줘요
안돼요 안돼요 그렇게 가지마요
제발 한 번만 한 번만 날 다시 안아줘요
다시 눈감아 널 보러 가면 그 자리에 멈춘 나를 안아줘요
it has been two weeks, i hope that you have moved on without me...
속삭인 그 말이 내 얼굴 만지던 그 머릿결이
꿈에서 깨보니 너무나도 선명한데
네가 있는 게 꿈이었단 걸 내 눈가에 고여진 눈물이 말해줬어
안돼요 안돼요 그렇게 가지마요
제발 한 번만 한 번만 날 다시 안아줘요
다시 눈감아 널 보러 가면 그 자리에 멈춘 나를 안아줘요
눈을 떠 보아도 네 모습만 선명한데
네가 있는게 꿈이었단 걸 내 눈물에 비춰진 슬픔이 말해줬어
안돼요 안돼요 그렇게 가지마요
제발 한번 만 한번 만 날 다시 안아줘요
다시 눈감아 널 보게 되면 그 자리에 멈춘 나를 안아줘요
애를 써 애를 써도 떼를 써 떼를 써 다시 돌아와
안돼요 안돼요 그렇게 가지마요
제발 한 번만 한 번만 날 다시 안아줘요
안돼요 안돼요 그렇게 가지마요
제발 한 번만 한 번만 날 다시 안아줘요
다시 눈감아 널 보러 가면 그 자리에 멈춘 나를 안아줘요
it has been two weeks, i hope that you have moved on without me...
Thursday, July 02, 2009
你却不顾我的感受把我蒙在鼓里
在你的誓言里,有几句是真心?回想起我们的每分,每秒和每一滴,
你给的爱情假象,一点一点散离,
提心吊胆的问你是否还爱我,
但你总敷衍我或者是一句不说.
也许是你和我通电话时的安静,
透露出了你一直无法对自己坦白的秘密.
看着我的眼睛,tell me that you'll never lie baby.
我相信你对我说的那句,
你却不顾我的感受把我蒙在鼓里.
根本没猜到分开的两个月里,you've moved on without me,
我还在回忆里...
现在的我没勇气,面对现实的惨剧,
每一天,每一夜说服自己没有你的日子不会累,
我还能做什么,除了祝福你们快乐?
但当你牵她的手,吻她的嘴,
会不会感到你有罪？
Monday, June 29, 2009
it's ever so stressful. perhaps one of the reasons why people break up is due to the pressure when they are sort of forced to meet their partner's family...
Monday, June 22, 2009
let go...
something isn't right between us. perhaps there's a wall between us that built up over the 6 months when i was in the uk. both of us seem happy on the outside, but who knows, deep down, i don't really feel comfortable with tvk anymore. it's funny how his mouth can become so "hua" in a short period of time. i really felt uneasy when he kept on "hua-ing", or should i say, flirting, or maybe he was just joking?! i really have no idea. i am confused. i refuse to think about what will happen to the both of us, our relationship. but i do hope it will turn out fine in a couple of days. for instance, he stopped his car by the roadside just to ask if i'll be his girlfriend. i mean like hello, it's so bloody dangerous, like seriously, grow up. well, this whole thing started when he told me to go to his friend's birthday party together with him, and i was like, why should i? then i guess he was a bit in shock or something, then he popped the question, can you be my girlfriend? then i was like you're not the least bit romantic. then he stopped the car after a few minutes. so yeah. we're different now. very. i suppose we are of different worlds right now. maybe it's time for us to let go... who knows, who knows...Wednesday, June 17, 2009
*GASP!*
don't feel well these few days, feel terribly ill, and i suspect that i have swine flu... symptoms :* fever {check.}
* cough {check.}
* runny nose or stuffy nose {no.}
* sore throat {check.}
* body aches {check.}
* headache {check.}
* chills {don't have.}
* fatigue or tiredness, which can be extreme {check.}
* diarrhea and vomiting {nope.}
hmm, i have most of the symptoms. maybe i do have swine flu, i shall spread it to you people back in malaysia. heh. no la, i'm just a little unwell, getting better, and the body aches + tiredness come from my menstruation. rofl. don't worry! i am tough, remember? :)
fighting!
xoxo
Thursday, June 11, 2009
i wanted to barf right in your face, pardon me.
let me just let it all out, please. just had a talk with my beautiful/understanding/very approachable hostess for about 2 hours, from 11pm to 1am. i was about to die and fall flat on the spot okay, can you actually imagine that?! i was about to barf right in her face if i hadn't stopped her. so the story started off like this...last night, after dinner, i told her that she doesn't have to cook dinner for me and that i will cook myself as i will be going out, i have no idea if i actually told her that i was going to oxford to go for shopping. well anyway, i told her that i'll be back AROUND 8-9 o' clock, those were the exact words, and i can remember it clearly.
today, i went to oxford and came home late, about 11pm, but i actually texted her and all. i then called her, she then said that she would like to have a talk with me, so i was like okay then. and the talk, i tell you, i felt like vomiting throughout the whole thing, it was that horrid. well, no, honestly, i wasn't listening half of the conversation as i was paying attention to myself, well, obviously, i was about to barf. and she went on and on about how i am spoilt, how i don't appreciate food, how i don't respect her, how i don't respect anyone, how i only talk about money, how she didn't make us do the kitchen chores, she claims that she never expect us to do so, how we are not expected to clean the kitchen, how i waste my time, how i'm an idiot, how i use people, how i lie, how i am not honest, how i always have whatever the way i want, how i should have told her about the problems that we were facing instead of going to mrs oakes, how i always talk crap online, how i gossip about people, how i made people hate me, how i'm rich, how i don't appreciate, how i'm a 'dumb blonde', how i only go shopping, how i am aimless, how i have no balls, how i have no guts but have the confidence at the same time, how i am dirty by not making my bed etc. it took 2 hours! i sat there and listened, wanted to defend for myself, but SHE, will NEVER listen to the others. conclusion : why can't people just reflect upon themselves before commenting on the others? & as if she has balls, wait, on second thought, maybe she does have balls, hmm. sometimes she's so weird that it makes me wonder...
well, there's only one thing i have to say, thank you. thank you very much for letting me know that such person actually exists in this world, and that all the hatred in this world is because of the existence of people like you yourself. you analyzed my behavior and think that you're right, you said that i lied to you about going to oxford, but seriously, it just slipped my mind, why would i even bother lying to you about me going shopping at oxford, you ass. is it cause i went with boys? no. is it cause i will spend loads of money and that you will get upset? well, it's none of your business. so seriously, you claimed that i lied to you about going oxford and you never give me the chance to speak up for myself, and you said that i have no balls, like wtf. i told you that you are unapproachable, and it's not like you are going to do anything about it, are you? isn't it the same case for me, you told me that i am spoilt, and i am not gonna do anything about it, well, do you expect me to change? if you don't bother changing, so why do i even bother anyway? who are you to me. nose shit. wait no, you're even lower than that.
it's just funny how you like to contradict yourself. and that you say that i am confused. well, you, should really go for counseling, and stop analyzing others, because from what i see, all your conclusions are wrong, they're shit. so go fuck yourself and make yourself happy, you sex deprived saggy tits + ass. to prevent yourself from falling even deeper, and crankiness.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
yoohoo! came back from cambridge yesterday! had loads of fun as i get to spend some quality time with the loved ones, and got to meet some new friends! well, and came across some tofu-eaters! okay, imma let the pics do the talking, enjoy~
first clubbing experience, it was pretty fun i must say. but i realized, that clubbing ain't my thing. once in a while is okay i suppose but since i poop out way too easily so i shan't go so often. for me, clubbing is like exercising, but glamorously. lmao, no biggie. my thighs were killing me after like what, 15 minutes of dancing?! rofl. it was a good experience though! i'll just stick to my usual, green tea frap & karaoke & gossip & shopping!
xoxo
first clubbing experience, it was pretty fun i must say. but i realized, that clubbing ain't my thing. once in a while is okay i suppose but since i poop out way too easily so i shan't go so often. for me, clubbing is like exercising, but glamorously. lmao, no biggie. my thighs were killing me after like what, 15 minutes of dancing?! rofl. it was a good experience though! i'll just stick to my usual, green tea frap & karaoke & gossip & shopping!
xoxo
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
say hello. to the girl. that i am.you're gonna have to see.through my perspective.
About Me
- Name: minyan.
- Location: Selangor, Malaysia
well, i am 18 and legal this year. 06.04.1991. ;) a student.
Links
Previous Posts
- moved to www.minyanwong.tumblr.com please do check...
- x
- to forget about you; xx
- untitled;
- or am i here all alone?
- abandoned;
- 我不想再为你掉泪...
- Dear Voon Kent, I do not know what's going on rig...
- 我好累
- geuroke gajimayo.
Archives
- July 2007
- December 2008
- January 2009
- February 2009
- March 2009
- April 2009
- May 2009
- June 2009
- July 2009
- August 2009
- September 2009
- October 2009
- January 2010
- March 2010
- July 2010
Subscribe to
Posts [Atom]